The following packet was written by Hayden Hurst, currently affiliated with the quasi-real world. Please direct any comments to email@example.com.
Disclaimer - The first Simpsons packet was meant to be a challenging test of Simpsons knowledge. It did, however, exhaust all the easy questions, and Iím now through catering to all you wimps who think that you know the Simpsons because you got a few questions right last time. Read this one at your own risk.
ANSWER : _CHASE_ (prompt on Pyro_
ANSWER : _KARL_ (prompt on Harvey Fierstein)
ANSWER : _SAMANTHA_ Stanky (accept Stanky before itís said)
ANSWER : Aristotle _AMADOPOLOUS_ (ah-mah-dah-poh-luhs)
ANSWER : _RANCHO RELAXO_
ANSWER : _COREY_
ANSWER : Capital City _GOOFBALL_
ANSWER : _ALEC GUINESS_
ANSWER : _FEEL-BAD RAINBOW_ (prompt on Brad Goodman)
ANSWER : _YOINK_
ANSWER : William _SHAKESPEARE_
ANSWER : _SPRINGFIELD SHOPPER_
ANSWER : _WOMEN_ :-)
ANSWER : _PINCHY_
ANSWER : _YOUíRE THE BIRTHDAY, YOUíRE THE BIRTHDAY, YOUíRE THE BIRTHDAY BOY OR GIRL_
ANSWER : Those Were _THE DAYS_
ANSWER : Hermanís _MILITARY ANTIQUES_ (prompt on Herman)
ANSWER : _THE STOCKHOLM AFFAIR_
ANSWER : Colonel Leslie "Hap" _HAPABLAP_
ANSWER : _TIJUANA_
ANSWER : _ATTIC_
ANSWER : _BUTTHEAD_
ANSWER : _PEPE_ (peh-pee)
ANSWER : _GIL_
ANSWER : _DEAN PETERSON_
A) Name the restaurant for five points
ANSWER : _UNLE MOEíS FAMILY FEEDBAG_
B) Name one of the other two suggestions for the name, both made by Homer, for five points
ANSWER : _CHAIRMAN MOEíS MAGIC WOK_, _MADMAN MOEíS PRESSURE COOKER_
C) For ten points, what do Rod, Sherri and Terri all order?
ANSWER : _MILLION DOLLAR BIRTHDAY FRIES_
D) All of this is started when the Hibberts leave Moeís. For five points, where does Dr. Hibbert suggest that they go?
ANSWER : _TEXAS CHEESECAKE DEPOSITORY_
B) Heís a security guard at the Funzo Factory
ANSWER : Gary _COLEMAN_
C) He plays Meathook of the Hellís Satans
ANSWER : John _GOODMAN_
ANSWER : _TIPSY_, QUEASY_, _SURLY_, REMORSEFUL_
A) "Bart Starr", Bart plays football
ANSWER : _HOMER CUTS A LARGE NUMBER OF THE CREDITEES_
B) "A Fish Called Selma", Selma marries Troy McClure
ANSWER : _REPORT ON TROYíS NEW MOVIE_
C) 22 Short Films About Springfield
ANSWER : _PROFESSOR FRINK SINGS HIS THEME SONG_
A) Tonight: Gala Spectacular
ANSWER : Tomorrow: _ALTERNATE LIFESTYLES SENIOR PROM_ (accept Alternative instead out of kindness)
B) Tonight : Elementary School Concert - Sold Out
ANSWER : Tomorrow: _BARBARA STREISAND : TICKETS STILL AVAILABLE_ (prompt on Babs)
C) Tonight : Championship Hockey
ANSWER : Tomorrow: _ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES, DAMMIT!_
A) Chief Wiggum says this upon busting kids at curfew
ANSWER : _ACHTUNG, BABY_
B) Milhouse from Springfield says this after meeting Milhouse from Shelbyville and learning his name
ANSWER : _WHEN DOVES CRY_
C) The music store Suicide Notes used to be named after this song.
ANSWER : _GOOD VIBRATIONS_
A) 10 - Country music
5 - Donít touch that dial, youíve got
ANSWER : _KUDD_
B) 10 - 70s classic rock
5 - Fossil 103 - classic hits from Abba to Zeppelin!
ANSWER : K_FSL_
C) 10 - Super sets of songs about clouds
5 - Coma - restful easy listening
ANSWER : W_KOMA_ (accept Coma for 10)
A) In the episode where the Simpsons go to see Truckasaurus, two wrestlers duke it out on TV. One is the Friendly Russian, while one has his patented coma lock. Name either.
ANSWER : _RASPUTIN_ and _PROFESSOR WERNER VON BRAWN_
B) The Investorettes invest in a wrestler from Mexico. Name him.
ANSWER : _EL BOMBASTICO_
C) In the episode where Lisa needs braces, Homer watches a Texas Death Match between two competitors. Name either.
ANSWER : _IRON YUPPIE_ or _DR. HILLBILLY_
A) Selling boys is legal only in Springfield and what state?
ANSWER : _MISSISSIPPI_
B) The Kwik-E-Mart is known as what in Ohio?
ANSWER : _STOP-O-MART_
C) Leon Komposki, who thought he was Michael Jackson, is a bricklayer from what city in New Jersey?
ANSWER : _PATERSON_
A) Name the 1947 Glen Ford classic selected by Congress as a replacement for this episode since it was too scary
ANSWER : _ 200 MILES TO OREGON_
B) If Burns and Smithers come back and everyone is slaughtered, what does Burns owe Smithers?
ANSWER : a _COKE_
C) What is served on Oktoberfest in the last episode?
ANSWER : _UTERBRATEN_ (prompt on Uter)
A) According to his card, where has Big Daddy been seen?
ANSWER : _PARADE_ Magazine
B) How does the Love-Tester rank Moeís potential date?
ANSWER : _LOVELORN_
C) What does Marge think the one thing thatís still pure and good is?
ANSWER : _CHRISTIAN LOVE_
ANSWER : _JAPAN_
B) Sherri and Terri (one country)
ANSWER : _TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO_
ANSWER : _CANADA_
ANSWER : _POLAND_
ANSWER : _FINLAND_
A) 10 - Superintendent Chalmers attended this place
5 - Snake played lacrosse here
ANSWER : _BALL STATE_ University
B) 10 - Lisa complains that sheíll never be able to pay for this when seeing her college fund
5 - After a comment by Lisa that she even wonít get in here, Homer becomes incensed
ANSWER : _VASSAR College
C) 10 - Lenny and Carl graduated from here
5 - Richard Nixon is a friend of its mascot
ANSWER : _SPRINGFIELD A&M_
5 - Lisa wrote to the president of the IOC to request the Olympics. Who did everyone else in her class write to?
ANSWER : _BACKSTREET BOYS_
10 - Name both Homerís Olympic mascot and Patti and Selmaís for five each.
ANSWER : _SPRINGY_, the Springfield Spring and _CIGGY_ (Siggy)
15 - Martin, Milhouse, and Bart are all shown doing various acts of community service as punishment. Name the three chores for five each
ANSWER : _CLEANING UP OCEAN WASTE_, _ORGANIZING PICKUP BASKETBALL_, _WORKING IN AN OLD FOLKíS HOME_ (Accept equivalents)
A) Oh boy, sleep! Thatís where Iím a
ANSWER : _VIKING_
B) That is soooo
ANSWER : _1991_ (after seeing Bart do the Bartman)
C) When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a
ANSWER : _CATERPILLAR_
A) The National Fatherhood Instituteís hold music
ANSWER : _CATíS IN THE CRADLE_, by Harry Chapin
B) Played during the sabotage of the germ warfare lab in the episode with Homerís mother
ANSWER : _ALL ALONG THE WATCHTOWER_, by The Jimi Hendrix Experience
C) Sung by Bart right before he says "Gimme three fingers of milk, ma".
ANSWER : _WITCHCRAFT_, by Olí Blue Eyes
D) Homerís brain sings this during Selma and Troyís wedding
ANSWER : _ROCK AND ROLL PART TWO_, by Gary Glitter
E) Played at the Springfield Elementary School dance
ANSWER : _I CAN LOVE YOU LIKE THAT_, by All 4 One
F) Sung by Homer and Marge together on a bicycle
ANSWER : _RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD_, by B.J. Thomas
A) Homer throws the Talking Krusty down a pit. Right after him, a man throws down naked pictures of whom?
ANSWER : Whoopi _GOLDBERG_ (Yuck)
B) While Marge quickly chooses a book on artillery in Books! Books! And Additional Books, Homer picks up a book by whom?
ANSWER : _MAPLETHORPE_ (and I was just pursuing my interest in Ö Aagh!)
C) When Homer dresses as Krusty, Apu tells him that his copy of what magazine just came in?
ANSWER : _GIGANTIC ASSES_ (Yuck!)
A) Bart plays this instead of learning karate
ANSWER : _TOUCH OF DEATH_
B) Itís featured along with Stickball and Mumbletypeg in an 80s arcade
ANSWER : _KICK THE CAN_
C) Marge gives Bart this gift instead of Bonestorm
ANSWER : _LEE CARVALLOíS PUTTING CHALLENGE_
D) When Bart loses this one, the guy says "No es bueno" (No ess bway-no) and falls to the ground, after which George Bush says "Winners donít use drugs" and kicks him a few times
ANSWER : _PANAMANIAN STRONGMAN_
E) Its controls include Remorse, Insanity Defense, and Change of Venue
ANSWER : _ESCAPE FROM DEATH ROW_
ANSWER : _PUKAHONTAS
ANSWER : _THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE_
ANSWER : _MOE BETTER BLUES_ or _MOE BETTER BOOZE_
A) The Cyclops tore off my clothes!
ANSWER : _THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF HERCULES_
B) Heck no, frog. Me and Iron Pants are just getting acquainted.
ANSWER : _THE MUPPETS GO MEDIEVAL_
C) There's more than one way to get high, baby.
ANSWER : _ GOOD-TIME SLIM, UNCLE DOOBIE, AND THE GREAT 'FRISCO FREAK-OUT_
A) This is Tim Conwayís hotel, thanks to Fox
ANSWER : _BUDGET LODGE_
B) Its marquee includes "Ask about our sheet rental"
ANSWER : _WORST WESTERN_
C) It includes a conference center, a Camelot room, a Pharaohís chamber with a vibrating sarcophagus, and the ever-erotic utility room
ANSWER : _APHRODITE INN_
A) Sure wish I could say, that I was his,
ANSWER : _STAND BY YOUR MANAGER_
B) In this trailer, I get so cold and lonely,
ANSWER : _BUNK WITH ME TONIGHT_
C) My average was point double oh eight.
ANSWER : _BAGGED ME A HOMER_
A) What is the name of the hockey team Apu coaches?
ANSWER : Kwik-E-Mart _GOUGERS_
B) Ned is thankful for Sweating To The Oldies Volumes One, Two, and Four as well as Little baby ducks and what else?
ANSWER : _ZIGGY_ comics
C) At BIMONSCIFICON, the mighty robots of Battlestar Galactica are pitted against the what of Star Wars
ANSWER : _GAY_ robots
A) Made by Bart, on the assumption that Skinner likes dog food. Homer gives them their name
ANSWER : _AMERICA BALLS_
B) Take cloves, frozen pie crust, and what to make a handy-dandy meal when Marge is gambling?
ANSWER : _TOM COLLINS MIX_
C) Nachos Flanders style includes two ingredients. Name Ďem for five points each
ANSWER : _CUCUMBERS _ and _COTTAGE CHEESE_
A) I will not yell
ANSWER : _SHEíS DEAD_
B) I am not the reincarnation of
ANSWER : _SAMMY DAVIS, JUNIOR_
ANSWER : _SHERRI_
ANSWER : _WEDGIES_
E) I will not defame
ANSWER : _NEW ORLEANS_
ANSWER : _GOLDFISH_